I Was A Modern Pharisee

We often think that Pharisees were these cult-like Jewish sec that died out long ago, but you’re wrong. Completely wrong. I should know, because I was one.

In my last article I discussed how reading “Blessed Child” by Ted Dekker/Bill Bright impacted me in a big way. When I came away from the book I realized that there was so much that I was missing out in my life. I claimed to follow Jesus, I claimed to believe in God, but it didn’t mean anything in my life.

I’ve had this deep spiritual pride and arrogance within me for a while now. I’ve been stuck in a rut of hubris, ignorance and cynicism. If anyone claimed to ever hear from God or experience any manifestations of His power, then I would arrogantly insist that they experienced no such thing. I was impacted years ago by the teachings of cessasionist preachers, in other words, no one can ever experience the power of God in their lives today. I would argue with absolutely anyone over whether God works in our lives today.

Spiritual Parroting and Empty Life

Jesus condemned the Pharisees in Matthew 23:26 when he speaks of cleaning the outside of the cup, but not the inside. That’s what has happened to me sadly. My prayer life had shriveled up, I spent hardy any time in the Word, and I experienced no connection to God. But hey, I believed all the ‘right’ things, I made all the correct professions. As far as spiritual parrots go, I took the cake.

Yet I was empty. I was cynical towards others because in truth I was envious. Other believers, including some of my own family had seen the power of God at work in their lives, whereas I experienced nothing. I just grew angrier and more resentful. And of course, my spiritual life shriveled up to nothing.

It became irritating. All over the place, authors I would read, musicians I listened to, were all reporting these amazing experiences. Eventually things came to a head. Either there was something wrong with everyone else, or maybe the problem was with me.

God Change The World and Start With Me

So I finally bowed to God, and confessed my pride, my arrogance, my bitterness, my fears, my cynicism, and my faithlessness. All of it. I couldn’t go on the way I was. There was something key missing and I knew that I couldn’t stand to continue in my emptiness.

Since then, things have definitely changed in my life. For the first time in a very long time, reading the Bible doesn’t feel like a chore. Prayer doesn’t feel like I’m just talking to the wall. There is now a clarity in my mind. All together, this has been a profound experience for me. I feel more at peace, and there is a passion that is welling within me. All of this is a very different experience for me.

I don’t consider myself enlightened, or having ‘reached the end’. This is just the start of a lifelong journey for me. I now realize how much I have left to learn. There is a very long road ahead of me. Here, I’ll be sharing that journey with you.

I believe that we can all enjoy a more abundant life. I believe that we don’t have to put up with living in a cold complacency. I believe that this is available to us all.