Jesus Wasn’t Interested In Popularity

For the past several posts I’ve been sharing how God is at work in my life, in ways that are both surprising and humbling to me. I’ve spent years being totally consumed by my own will for my life. Becoming famous, wealthy, things like that. It’s hard not to be consumed by the American Dream. As I’ve recently come to realize is that as appealing as all of this is, it isn’t what I have been called for. If I truly claim to follow Jesus, then I should imitate His life.

Jesus wasn’t interested in becoming popular.

Jesus wasn’t interested in amassing large amounts of wealth.

Jesus Was A Servant

Instead I read in both Mark 10:45 and Matthew 10:28 that Jesus came ‘not to be served, but to serve’. This has never been my attitude. I’ve never embraced the attitude of a servant. I was actually arguing over this very point not long ago with a family member. Stupidly insisting on my own self-importance. The fact is, I’m not called to do any such thing, this has been a lesson I am still learning.

Jeremiah 29:13 is where God tells Israel (exiled and feeling very lost) that ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans to bless you and not to curse you, to give you a future and a hope’. I think this would also apply to us as well. As I was meditating over this, something stuck out for me. It says ‘I know the plans I have for you.’ God doesn’t say anything about me, or my plans. It’s all about what He wants, I don’t exactly factor in the equation here.

Facing The Unknown

It’s fitting that this has been my meditation recently. There’s some potentially life changing decisions my family is facing. To be perfectly honest, up until this point I’ve been resistant to such changes. Now my attitude is changing. Even though the unknown is something that makes me uncomfortable, I’m learning more to embrace what makes me uncomfortable. Even though I don’t know what will happen, or where I’ll find myself over the next year, I’m learning to humble myself and embrace that this is where God has placed me. He has a purpose and a plan in all of this, and my job is to trust Him.

This also applies in another direct way, in my career. Currently I work as a freelance writer. I admit I’ve always wanted to become a bestselling novelist. Now I am trying to understand what God is calling me to do. He may call me to write for his purpose and glory. He may call me to do something else entirely. I don’t know. As I shared previously, I am naturally afraid of the unknown. I’m the type of person who likes to have everything laid out and planned out. I’m having to learn that this is not how things work. Again this doesn’t come naturally, I’m having to learn all of this every day.

God Does Not Need Our Advice

The reason I specifically turned this into a specific post is because I believe that for now, my purpose is to share my testimony with any Western believers. I believe that we are all suffering from a pervasive complacency. This has nothing to do with whether or not you attend Church, whether you are part of any denomination, this isn’t about whether or not you consider yourself a Calvinist or not. This has nothing to do with all of the myriad of ways we distort and distract from the gospel.

I’m just telling you flatly, I am seeing God at work in my life. This only happened when I completely ignored all of the unnecessary debates going on. I actually did nothing. I merely prayed, repented of my (many) sins, and asked God to change my life. Every change I have seen in my life is all because of God. I believe that for the moment, this is what I am called to do. Whatever the next step is, God will lead in His time.

This is what I am praying over right now. What does God want me to do? What is His will for my life? This is obviously a humbling experience, but this isn’t just something I think about for a few minutes. This means I have to rethink my entire outlook, and this lasts throughout the day. I’m having to constantly remind myself to think of myself less. I am constantly reminding myself that my will is irrelevant. Still learning this lesson by the way. I’m still asking for guidance.

A Life of Service Is My Calling

I’m constantly reminding myself that I am called to be a servant. This is a radical change in my personal outlook. I am not naturally wired this way. Naturally, I want to assert myself, I want to insert my own will into the equation. The thought of being a servant sounds like embracing a dumpy life or whatever. There is absolutely no glory in being a servant. Any aspirations I have for fame or wealth goes right out the door when I embrace servanthood. Everything goes out the door.

I’ll say this before I end. I’ve always had this fear of dying unknown and irrelevant. Here’s the deal, if I embrace being a servant, then in in a way I am accepting that I will in all likelihood be unknown and irrelevant, to the world. The likelihood of me ever attaining any kind of status in this world is extremely low. But here’s the thing, I didn’t say I would become unknown and irrelevant. If I do as God wills, then I will be known by Him. My work will never be irrelevant, because I will be walking in exactly what He has purposed me to do. This has nothing to do with shutting myself up in a cloister or what have you. This is about shifting my perspective and changing my thought patterns.

So no matter where God leads me in the coming weeks and months, I embrace it. Even though this means embracing a future that is unknown and therefore frightening. If I had tried to do this months ago, I would have been an anxiety riddled mess. Now there is a strange peace that is within me. It’s actually refreshing to not constantly need all the answers. I don’t have all the answers, but I trust in the One Who Does. And that is more than enough.