Social media has been the largest catalyst of change in the new millennium. Decades worth of science fiction novels and films dreamed of a technological utopia. Flying cars! Robot slaves! Floating cities! Some dreamed of an age where technology would automate all menial work, allowing us to live however we pleased. These days such things seem a bit fanciful. Maybe a little too imaginative. We’re still working on the flying cars. As for robot slaves, we have rumbas. Nothing on the floating cities. But the rise of social media was unexpected. Just over a decade and we are witnessing the beginnings of a new aristocracy, a technocracy is forming before our eyes. Executives within social media networks are becoming the new elite ruling class. Rather than a hostile takeover, such changes have happened by we the people allowing it. When social media originally came about, it was a good idea. Allowing a platform that allowed people from all over the world to network with each other was brilliant. There really was a need for such a thing. Unfortunately, the idea quickly disintegrated.
I’ll let you in on a universal truth; people want to be heard. Everybody wants to be seen and understood. Everyone wants to feel like they are part of something. Virtually every mishap in society and religion can be directly attributed to this simple fact. If you’ve ever wondered how people can get caught up in cults or strange movements, this is how. This is where social media comes in. For the first time ever, we now have the ability to express ourselves, to share our thoughts real time, across the world. Here’s where things become sticky. The idea of sharing your life online began to rise. Sometimes it was kind of interesting. I mean, guys like Casey Neisat created fun videos. People who were naturally gifted storytellers took full advantage of the opportunity now afforded them. Then a sort of avalanche effect took place. Now everybody felt like they could do the same.
Today platforms like FaceBook and YouTube are loaded, and I do mean loaded, with all kinds of people taking their cell pones and ‘sharing their life’. I’ve seen people who got the idea to actually film themselves doing chores and yard work. Why? I haven’t the slightest idea. Years ago the idea of ‘personal branding’ came into play, not necessarily new, but a different way of doing business. In man cases, you can go watch somebody doing yard work, and talking about how their day is going, reach the end of the video and find an ad spot for t-shirts, hats and coffee mugs. As if people’s lives were some sort of commodity.
I’m not knocking the idea, with enough reach, I would do the same thing. I am trying to make a point however. When reading these posts or watching these videos, we get the impression that we are with the person talking. We get the impression that, even though we haven’t met the individual in question, we know them. We see their lives, we hear them talk. Done enough times, it’s hard not to feel as if you have gotten to know the person. As if they are a friend. This isn’t wrong or twisted, it’s just basic psychology at work. We’re all wired that way. Here’s where the problem is, we don’t know these people. Not really.
This isn’t as obvious of a fact as it should be. Thus we now have a brand new disorder, never before seen in human history. Social media anxiety. Now officially classified by the Mayo Clinic. With all of these posts, channels and what have you, I’ve rarely seen anything where people admit to failing something. Or not measuring up. It’s very rare. Everybody says they aren’t perfect, but you never see that on video, do you? There’s nothing nefarious going on here, I know I have had moments of my life that I am definitely glad aren’t on video. The problem is that most people watching these videos, reading these posts, truly believe they are watching someone’s real life. Inevitably you will begin to compare yourself with whoever you’re watching. (also just basic psychology) Should your life not measure up to whatever you’re seeing, then a crisis will emerge. Your self-esteem/value will drop, and then everything will fall apart. For some people, this results in suicide.
I know this has affected me in some minor ways. I used to feel terrible when I looked at other people’s achievements. I would see the meteoric success of Billie Eilish (winning a Grammy at 16, are you kidding me?!), or some 10 year old guitarist on YouTube nailing ‘Asturias’, and feel gloomy. I would look at all these people, seeing what they’ve done with their lives, all while I’m struggling to complete a decent draft or still struggling to play just the opening bars of ‘Asturias’. It’s not a fun feeling.
This took me a long time to learn, but what I’ve had to realize over the years is that there was something going on that I was missing. The achievements I just went over are impressive, no doubt. They really are. Yet, it’s a mistake to compare myself to these individuals. I cannot be expected to do what they can do. Just as they cannot be expected to do what I can.
Social media can be a pretty great thing for the most part. The major downside is that the algorithms built into all platforms are hardwired for whatever happens to be trending. And the only thing that is ever trending is the usual and the extraordinary. The point I have been underscoring is that when the extraordinary is the only thing we ever see in our feeds, then in our minds, it becomes ordinary. This is somehow the bar we are supposed to measure up to. Again, this is all just basic psychology being manipulated by a mindless algorithm, all to ensure more clicks and more views. This ultimately results in a complete dissolution of our very identities. We aren’t free to pursue and develop our own unique gifts or talents. That sort of thing just doesn’t fly next to cat videos or people running at insane speeds. It isn’t right nor is it fair to be honest. We should be free to pursue our own goals and dreams. That is after all the very promise put forth in the Declaration of Independence, ‘life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness’. This can still happen, that’s the good news. It can only happen when we decide to pursue the authentic in our own lives, not social media.
